If there is one word to describe this trip so far it is frustrating.
Things that frustrate me (disclaimer: this is potentially a moany venting post):
- The slow pace of negotiating something that should be straight forward.
- The failure of leaders to overcome their differences
- The inability to see how dragging of feet means more suffering for the people
- The total waste of resources that should be used to help not hinder
- The truths, half-truths and outright lies that people tell (and trying to figure out which is which)
- ‘Somali time’ aka if we say we leave at 4am we might leave anytime between 4 and 10. But be ready, just in case
- The constant reminder of the worlds inequities
- The fact that my ‘shower’ (rusty pipe dripping cold water hanging precariously from the wall) doesn’t work
- Having to wear a headscarf all the time but not knowing how to prevent it blowing into my face and having to totally rearrange it following a gust of wind
Most days i take the free hospital bus to work. I see the same rotation of 5 or so drivers. Familiar faces from various hospital departments and sometimes a truanting school child. Its monotonous but I can deal with that because without fail I wear my headphones, with music at a volume loud enough to drown out the small talk and burr of the bus’ engine, but quiet enough that only I know what delicious tune is singing in my ear. The music is set to random, and I only allow a skip once or twice. What plays determines my mood, my thoughts, my expression, and how hard I have to control my toe taps and head nods. Im a secret dancer. I cant help it. I like to move parts of myself in a seemingly random order in correlation to beats and melodies. This music is the soundtrack to the movie of my life. I am the star role, the director and the producer. And its gonna be a blockbuster.
Consultant: do you realise what you just did? (After the aorta sprayed my with blood)
Me: no, what?
Consultant: you giggled like a child in a sprinkler system.
Me: oh, is that weird?
Me: sorry, I cant help it, I love it when it spurts everywhere…
Things I learnt on my last F1 nightshifts:
1) if a wound is oozing puss its best not to describe it in the notes as a pussy wound.
2) getting two twix’s from the vending machine might just be the best feeling ever.
3) if you forget your swipe card when venturing to theatres you will get stuck between doors for a considerable amount of time.
4) I can accumulate 800mls water in my bladder during a two hour period, the SHO can manage >999mls. And won the second twix.
5) By night 4 lemming syndrome sets in and walking in walls, doors and people is a normal occurrence.
Next stop: Cardiothoracics.
…But at least I have my glittery green socks…